Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
