we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
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