Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Boobs speak an international language.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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