fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
