Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
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