he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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