hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize