Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
