I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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