You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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