I'm really into asian looking animals
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
