me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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