Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
