Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he puts the penis in happiness.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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