I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
