New invention idea: vibrating tampons
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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