He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
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He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
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I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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