The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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