Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
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But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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