i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
