it's great music for shaving your balls
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
