Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
