Just fell off a train. Bad.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize