id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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