i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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