literally had 100 drinks last night.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
