no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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