bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
