i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
