I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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