While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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