so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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