bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
