Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Someone signed my nipple.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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