M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
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Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
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Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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