Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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