Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
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Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
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You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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