please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just gift wrapped bread.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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