Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You're like the curious george of whores
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Randomize
