Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
