dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
where does the pee come out of this thing
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
