So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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