Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
