i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
