By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize