Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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