Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.

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(631): View more from New York

I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving

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(818): View more from California

we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.

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(231): View more from Michigan

the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants

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(941): View more from Florida

It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.

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