He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
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I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
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who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.