So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
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Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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