did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize