well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
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