My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
