Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
