I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
