'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
