I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
