Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
